When you’re Stumped, Try the Out of the Box Technique

Out of the Box Technique:  Something to try when a problem has you stumped

Oftentimes in life we run into a problem with a situation and/or a relationship and we feel stumped; not at all sure how to move forward and solve the problem.  We may even become despairing about the problem.  Here’s a very simple and quick technique to help jolt you out of stagnation.  I learned this technique from Bill O’Hanlon, therapist and international speaker.

The “Out of the Box technique” is a simple way to get some perspective on a problem.  You can then see the problem in a new light and possibly see new solutions to the problem and definitely feel better about your ability to solve the problem.

Here’s what you do:

1. Think about the problem and possible solutions.

2. Think about a time when you felt really connected to people and strong, competent, capable, filled with ideas, etc.  Soak up the good feelings like pride, competence, can do attitude, and see the people and situation around you in your mind’s eye.  Note what you are doing to be connected and feel competent and positive.  Collect up the inner and outer resources!  When you feel like you’ve had a really good dose of the previous experience, and you’re filled to the brim with resources, go to step 3.

3. Filled up with the positive experience and a load of resources, go back to the original problem and work on solving it.

4. Repeat if necessary.

Here’s an example:

A person has a health condition and the treatment is exercise.  However, the person doesn’t exercise and is now feeling a despair and hopelessness about ever exercising.  What to do?  The Out of the Box Technique.

So first, think about the problem – what are the barriers, the stumbling blocks, the nasty stuff that keeps you from not exercising.  The person identifies feeling lazy ,not liking to exercise because it’s lonely and they feel it’s a pathetic struggle.

Step Two: think of a time when you feel connect, strong, competent.  The person remembers when they were at the office party and his team was winning the darts competition.  There was camaraderie, excitement, good shots, bravos, a fun good time where he felt competent and connected.

Step Three: go back to the problem with the resources from step two.  He is able to see that maybe he could start exercising by making some of the resources from step two present in his life and in his exercise routine.

For example, he could do an activity he enjoys (not necessarily exercise), hook up with other people who also like to exercise, he could try to add an element of fun or competition.  Now he has some really useful ideas with which to solve his problem.

You can try this as often as you want!  You could even make this an automatic response when you feel stumped, or defeated.

If you have a journal where you write out problems and try to solve them, then you could write out the instructions to the Out of Box Technique and tape it in the front cover.  The technique works wherever you are.

By Fay Ferris, Counsellor