Ferris Counselling

How to Improve your Relationship

Are you struggling with your Marriage or intimate Relationship?  Does your marriage need saving?  Is the romance dead?  Are you and your spouse or partner

  • Fighting?
  • Avoiding each other or hot topics?
  • Disagreeing about sex, chores, or money?
  • Feeling lonely in your relationship?
  • Feeling unappreciated?
  • Not on the same page regarding life/career/family goals?
  • Struggling with individual problems such as Anxiety, Depression, Eating    Disorders, and Trauma symptoms which impact your relationship?
  • Struggling with a special needs child (e.g. Anxiety, ADHD or Autism)?
  • Feeling misunderstood?

If you answered “Yes” to any of these questions, then I can help you improve your relationship, connect deeply, and learn effective communication and conflict management skills. I have been counselling couples for over 15 years, and I’ve been happily married for over 40 years.  I’m specifically trained, extensively experienced and Certified in the most effective Couples Therapy approach (Gottman Method Couples Therapy).

After a full assessment process, I will guide you step-by-step so that you will reconnect with each other, build your friendship, repair your injured relationship, create life dreams and shared meaning and experience the magic of a loving relationship, all the while gaining the knowledge and the skills necessary to maintain your relationship happiness. Follow up sessions are encouraged.

In therapy sessions you will both learn the skills to communicate productively, dialogue about your gridlocked issues, and build a deep intimacy through ATTUNEMENT.  You will learn how to slow down a conflict so you both feel heard, and to appreciate the strengths unique to your partner and your relationship.  You will learn what to do and what not to do.

Why Consider Marriage Counselling

Happiness is related to the strength of your relationship.  If one partner is not happy, then the relationship is weak.  It makes sense to fix the problems in your relationship sooner, rather than later.  It can be too late to save a marriage when one partner believes that the relationship is hopeless.  Do not wait for this moment:  it is easier to come for counselling and learn new skills and save your marriage than to go through a divorce.

Furthermore, research has told us that the very best thing you can do for your children is to have a healthy, loving relationship.  A happy marriage or relationship wins on every well-being measurement for children.  I believe you can improve your marriage and other relationships (with siblings, children, parents) by using the skills and interventions that the Gottman Method offers.

About Gottman Method Couples Therapy

I am a Certified Gottman Couples Therapist (CGT) and so I primarily use the Gottman Method Couples Therapy (GMCT) for relationship enhancement because it is based on research and the couple is empowered by learning and practicing skills, and it is proven to be one of the most effective therapies for relationship improvement.

Dr. John Gottman is the world leading expert in what makes relationships fail or succeed.  His research of over forty years (which can be found in as many books), gives us a good idea of where to focus our energies in order to have relationships that succeed, and what to avoid in order to stop damaging them.  The Gottman method is also transferrable and you can apply the principles to any relationship (siblings, children, parents) and find improvements.

The Gottman Method has a complete Assessment Process that allows me to be more effective and efficient as I can target the areas where you need help and support and encourage your strengths.  It also allows me to give you feedback in a way that allows you to improve your relationship decisions on a day to day basis.

Therefore, in the first session, you can expect to tell me about your problems, the history of your relationship, and the current state of your relationship.  There are assessment surveys that give me information about your relationship that are completed before the second session.  The second session consists of Individual Interviews.  The third session is the Feedback session and we can usually get started at that session.  The work will vary according to your specific needs.  We practice the skills at the office sessions so that you can use the skills at home when you need it.  You will learn and practice the skills of the Masters (people with long happy marriages) and avoid the mistakes of the Disasters (people who have short unhappy marriages).

Sometimes, if it’s more appropriate, I will use Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFCT).  This approach dovetails nicely with the Gottman Method.  EFCT is based on the work of Sue Johnson, and delves into our emotions of attachment and healing attachment injuries.